Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Life is not always glitter and sunshine

As most of my fellow bloggers know, life is not always full of glitter and sunshine. As much as I would love for that to be the case, it just isn't happening! I've thought long and hard about what I wanted to say in this post and nothing has come to mind.

I should start at the beginning - two years ago, my then husband left me for another woman. We had been married for eight years at the time. A year and a divorce later I thought my life was over until I met Mark. He was sweet, charming and absolutely hilarious. He was the polar opposite of my ex-husband and I couldn't have been happier.

I finally felt like I was able to be myself. He encouraged me to be creative in every way possible. If I wanted to paint he helped me pick out paints... If I felt like scrapbooking he took me to every store in town. The man cooked and cleaned without being asked to. His heart was made of pure gold.

But on Thursday, January 6, 2011 the lord had other plans for this angel and he passed away at the young age of thirty-three. While my heart is breaking I just keeping praying. I know that I will never have all the answers to my questions but I take comfort in knowing that Mark is in a better place and watching over me as I start a new journey in my life.

Please take a moment to tell the people you love just how much they mean to you!



Kate said...

Your post really hit me hard. Our lives have some parallel to them. I have not lost my now husband but we struggle through my illness all across the board. I am not sure why God has the plans he has for some if us, but you sure are such a blessing when you share you heart. I will be praying for you and the future he has in store for you. Most of all to heal your broken heart. Your friend across the miles xoxo

pls email anytime

Stefanie said...

Thank you Kate. Its been a very tough week, full of questions but no answers.

Mark has struggled with being Bi-polar his entire life and in my heart I know that it has something to do with it...but I'll never know.

Kate said...

Dear Stefanie
Wanted you to know I am still praying for you and hoping that even w/ no answers that each day you will have strength and aome sort of peace about the unknown. Just checking in sending you my love, take care xoxo Kate

Kaz said...

Hi Stefanie
This is the first time I have commented on someones blog so here goes. I'm so very very sorry for your loss. I read this and it bought tears to my eyes. I can only hope that the emptiness you feels one day soon leaves. I just wanted to say please don't give up on blogging or doing the things you love as you gives me hope and strength I need as I too am a bi-polar sufferer. I love how you you say what you feel.

My thoughts with you

barbara Webb said...

Stephanie I just happened to find your blog today and I wanted to tell you how sorry I am for your loss. I lost my husband of 20 years in 2004, He was 42. Although it has been really hard for me I want you to know that I have found that I can be happy again. I still think about him everyday but I know he has been called home and is with God now. I pray that you will find peace and your pain will be diminished. You will never be the same, but you can find happiness again. I have been a widow for 7 years now and have not met anyone new. But I think I have come to realize that I am enough! I can be happy with myself and if God plans for me to have another husband some day he will send him my way. Just know that I am praying for you! Stay strong...
A fellow blogger...Barbara

Stefanie said...

Its obviously been a while since I checked on my little blog but I wanted to tell you ladies that I truly appreciate the kind words. And I hope to resume blogging really soon!